Tree pollen high? (Achoo!) I almost sneezed off my earrings.
MyPheme-Isms
Have a Mypheme-ism of your own?
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No lie… I see sparks come out of my crotch when I spin.
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The hairy woman at TSA let me through with my fine point tweezers. Ahhh SISTERHOOD!
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Yes, that was me that went down the stairs. I do all my own stunts.
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Mirror, mirror on the wall, I AM my mother after all!
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My excuse for winter rear-end?…I accidentally sat on my Lip Plumper.
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Funny thing is , remodeling the bathroom hubby forgot to tell me how close the elctricity was to the water . Now that would have been a shocking experience.
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I meant to behave but there were too many other options.
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Don’t yell at your kids. Lean in and whisper…it’s much scarier.
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If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way MOM TOLD YOU TO in the beginning.
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Bullhorn favorites: GET OFF THE SCALE AND NOBODY GETS HURT!
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Do noses grow or do faces shrink?